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Marry Your Daughter

from Not For Kids Really by Dan Latner

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lyrics

I wonder if my second wife is even born yet
It’s great not worrying about a biological clock
Growing up’s taking much longer than I expected
But you’re starting a family and I’m hearing opportunity knock

We’ve been through a lot man, you really feel like a brother
I got to know your wife too – now she’s almost like a sister to me
If you’re both siblings of mine, it’s kind of funny that you’re married to eachother
I think I figured out a way that we could really be family

Whoa – maybe I should marry your daughter
I’ll give her my all / Treat her so fine / Give her my all substitute
I’ll give her every thing she needs
I’m a good friend and she deserves a good man
The argument holds a lot of water
Whoa - maybe I should marry your daughter

Don’t you like the Graduate and all those Woody Allen movies?
Don’t you shed a few tears every time you watch Harold and Maude?
By the time she’s of age the singularity will have made Data out of all of our bodies
She’ll have nothing to touch if that’s the part of this you’re finding odd

Nothing would ever happen between us
Before she’s twenty
Even if it’s legal, dating teens is weird
And I’d hate if my own kids began to resent me

There’s no need to rush you’ve got two decades to consider
That’s enough time to save a handsome dowry
Just don’t tell my first wife or she’ll find a way to make herself a wider
Or file for divorce and take everything away from me

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from Not For Kids Really, released December 5, 2017

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Dan Latner Toronto, Ontario

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